peace is not
sterile gauze, a snowflake, an insipid dove
it's feisty and rich

don't let the war boys hog it all
the spit, the spice and the glamour

peace is potency
reaching and sprouting
budding and branching

it's lifting things
a good scrap
a hot wrestle and a cool scrub
cleansing and hope.

peace is the empowerment of dust
whispers of the song before origin
as out of seed
the cathedral of the body builds itself

it's spasms and metamorphoses
the vertigo
of mind dancing
with the fecundator
to the music of need.

peace
is little orange bees
spotted ladybugs on white campions
late june with a stink of linden
prickles and burrs

it's wild grapes in a bramble
a tough nut

lovers churching
through the night, at noon, in the morning
a juicy comeuppance
for the grim suppressors.

peace
is for the star-biters and the rooted
don't be dainty
go at it
hammer and tong.

peace is not purity
limp, neat and dry.
it's sexy.

-cilfford browder

so...
my favorite part of working out is hearing the crickets on the ride back home and
its been a blustery few days and
groceries are better to get with roommates and
i've never blown out eggs before today and
belly dancing lessons on youtube is silly fun and
life is purty good.

and so, as i lay there in my rare bath (of only a handful each year), tiny droplets of water bouncing off my chest onto my lips and eyelashes like a thousand tiny kisses, the warm water wrapping around me like a soft blanket, i thought, "bathtubs are a sign of riches." and i knew there was nowhere else i wanted to be in that moment.

and as i thought back on the way things used to be, where water gathered from wells or other sources had to be heated in a tub, where rivers and streams were the bathing places, i remembered the wealth in having water, from tap, and already heated, pouring down onto me.

and so i want to remember these riches as they are... riches. not to be taken for granted, but enjoyed fully and as a special treat, knowing i am blessed to have this magnificent comfort. i want to find the richness and vibrance, the deep colors of life; i want my life to look like those bright colors- i want my life to look alive.

goodness gracious. great balls of fire!

no, literally. this evening, i saw a fireball. that made my week. how often does that happen?

O God of grace and glory, we remember before You this day our brother Matthew. We thank You for giving him to us, his family and friends, to know and to love as a companion on our earthly pilgrimage. In your boundless compassion, console us who mourn. Give us faith to see in death the gate of eternal life, so that in quiet confidence we may continue our course on earth, until, by Your call, we are reunited with those who have gone before; through Jesus Christ our Lord. Amen
BCP p. 493

Happy birthday, Matt.

let's celebrate st. patrick's day by eating potatoes and listening to nickel creek (also self-supplemented by flogging molly and some other fun ruckus). and let's celebrate pi day by eating pi(e). and let's celebrate life by sharing it. that's community. hurrah!

if it looks too good to be true and feels like everything i've been dreaming of, then... should i jump at the chance or wait to make sure?
decide or discern?

time to begin the long list that is figuring out my future. (or at least, the next step in it)

also, time to eat a really huge pancake.

things i liked about today:
the smell of fresh-cut grass
sunshine
watching the kitty chase crickets
reading outside
the perfect breeze
talking with a good friend and
remembering wisdom
mexican folk music
a taste of humility

words that i like that start with "en-"
enable. enamor. enchant. encircle. encourage. endear. endure. enfold. engage. engross. enmesh. enrich. entice. envelop. enkindle. enliven. entrust. entangle. endeavor. entrance. and the one that began it all, enjoy.

i ate a graham cracker and then i ate a chocolate and it tasted like a s'more. or at least part of it.

it's amazing what some sunshine and good music can do for my attitude. too bad it took alanis morisette to remind me that
what is all comes down to
is that everything's gonna be quite alright
and
what it all boils down to
is that no one's really got it figured out just yet.

which is good. because i was kind of starting to freak out there for a second. so maybe i just need to look at it all in a different light... i can go anywhere, do anything, be anyone. i'm free, i'm strong, and i'm beautiful. so really, it's alright being me.