what a splendid long weekend. golden sand and sparkling lake, pale blue skies and rosy sunsets, white hot fires and bright stars in the blue black heavens- even some faint northern lights. lovely fellowship and good fun. and new experiences... first cigar- i wasn't very good. another try will require a much more refined cigar. first wine cooler- excellent. i'm glad that i waited until i was 21; it makes the experience that much more special.
and i feel like God taught me a lot this weekend as well. about repentance and rest, quietness and trust- in these are salvation and peace... about living a life of purity and trust and truly desiring to please Him instead of be the funniest or most laid-back or impress those around me... about listening instead of speaking, especially when i most want to yell and defend myself and let my frustration burst out of me... many lessons, so far to go.
but most of all, i learned about trust. one of the most amazing parts of this summer for me was that nolensville was exactly where i was supposed to be... although i was impatient with God and wanted Him to lead me to where i was to intern much earlier in the year, He knew where He wanted me and led me there in His own time... and although i knew it was my first choice, i had no idea how perfect it would be for me... and i was continually amazed by how much God knew me, knew what i needed, knew my desires and passions and what would help me rest and what would teach me. i could not have known what a peaceful place i would be at, so that the entire summer was like an amazing vacation for me, i did not expect to learn so much so quickly, i couldn't imagine such an awesome group of students to get to hang out with and intersect with in their lives. i didn't know how much i would love the hills and natural beauty of the area, the breakfast clubs or mission mondays or wonderful wednesday; i didn't realize i would get to experience the positive transitioning out of a youth pastor that had an unbelievable impact on and love for his students, nor did i know i would be working with someone with whom i was on such the same wavelength. overall, God knew me so much more than i know myself, and He has put me in youth ministry and this summer in nolensville, where i would never have imagined myself before, but where i fit perfectly.
and so i'm learning to trust. that He knows me best, so He truly does know what's best for my life- in decisions of career, relationships, where to live- i can trust Him that He will put me in a position that will both challenge and use me best, with people and eventually, a person, with whom i will better be able to worship Him, and in a place where i will thrive. and even if it doesn't make sense to me at first, and even if i don't want to trust, i know that i can and He does know me best and i will do well where He puts me. so even though part of me is afraid to trust, i long to hear His voice, to follow His every calling for me, to listen to where He wants me.
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