as i've been thinking, i'm realizing i'm feeling lost, needing something bigger than myself to be a part of... i'm a passionate person, need something to throw myself into that is worth my time, my life... and only searching for happiness isn't making me happy, or even satisfied. i need something more to be doing with my time, something that makes a difference... i need a place where i can speak into the world, where there are people who believe in me and can help me focus my energies into something that can be real, that can be effective, creative, life-changing. i feel i so want to birth something new, to be a part of something beautiful, but i am lost as to what that something is... as i am here with time on my hands, i have lots of projects i can work on, lots of books i can read, but i feel restless, because none of those things i really want to do... i want something that will grab my soul and fill me back up with fire, with passion, with the motivation to keep going. what is this?

. . .

maybe this is what i've been missing... this song describes my life, but i keep forgetting, getting distracted by the everyday things, getting dragged down by little things... how is this?

Try on Life it fits like a glove
and feel what it's like to Be Free
Try breathing and seeking to be an instrument of Love
and encourage one another on the journey
Give thanks to the land and the sky up above
and pour your energy into building a community

Make a space for the traveller to stop and put some love in
Be a shelter from the rushin' and the pushin' and the shovin'
Let the music play all night so we can sing and dance
Grow good organic food and lots of bright flowering plants
Put it in a pot and stir it up with lots-o-lovin'
Roll out the dough and fire up the cob oven
Dig into the dirt so you can take a stronger stance
Educate, Relate and be creative with resistance

Try making a life, filling two new eyes with sight
as husband and wife spin their love and unite
For Unity is the healing force that creates
as community blooms from its embryonic states
Give children wings for flight so that they just might
find new ways of making the light shine more bright
Sing with them dance with them learn with them help them carry their weights
and cherish them for they grow at alarmingly fast rates

try on life - jes karper


la primavera

i am amazed by how much the sunshine and beautiful weather, the crocuses coming up and getting my hands dirty working in the soil are awakening me, bringing me back to life. i feel like a completely different person, smiling, laughing, dancing, hugging more. i can't believe the wonders the sun has done for me. this spring, i want to be more alive... i want...

to spend a lot of time in the garden, prizing
the dirt underneath my fingernails as a reminder
of the things that will soon be growing
to dance and spin in the sunlight
(especially while tickling little batmans
and laughing uncontrollably)
to read under trees, and fall asleep while wondering
at the way the light comes through the leaves
to get involved in the immigration conversation and
learn more about the new sanctuary movement
to spend a lot of time with the strong women in my life
who give me inspiration and whose presence helps me
to better know myself
to worship my God in this earth She has birthed and
continues to rebirth each year and day and minute and moment
and seek the Kingdom of justice
and of love
that is strength and organic and sometimes a little
sweaty and dirty,
but is so real that it is with me, as i am, each day
even in those hard days
to spend a lot of time creating...
creating love, creating art, creating community;
to allow the creativity within me each cycle to
release and be born tangibly into this world

i am so happy for spring. i have missed you, sun!