i want to go back to the time when i'm kazi's daughter with blanche and mary is his wife and our family makes chairs and exchanges them with chris' family to get fish for dinner. why do we have to save up and store up and set aside? why can't we be satisfied with our daily bread? manna meant "it is enough." why isn't it enough anymore? why can't i be satisfied to get my meal for the deal instead of wanting more things? when did people become commodities in the pursuit of profit and accumulation so that we who are the rich could have more and more things- the luxury goods like the computer i'm using right now? when will we care again? how can we get back to subsistence living and a society with a market instead of a market society?

at least one class this semester holds my attention every minute.

i want my life to be worth something real, something for others, something true. i want to search for truth and love people more than getting money or even saving my own life. if my life would be so valuable, i would be willing to die at 24. watch the constant gardener. you'll understand. i am different because of it.

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