10.09.2005

what an up and down week. joys and insecurities, confusion and laughter, frustrations and blessings have leaked out. and so i feel a little emotionally tired. it would be a dream to just be stable again for a week or so. unfortunately, i'm human and i will never be perfect and i will never be always and completely consistent with God and therefore, i will never have me really in check.
sigh. such a good college life, too. God speaks... and i must trust Him... from the molding together of Scriptures about living justice and fighting corrupt societies and those about living fully in Him, alive and in joy and not holding back and stretching my love out wide and big and taking a risk to care for others who might not care back (and that hurts a lot), to "tis so sweet to trust in Jesus," knowing His life and rest, and joy and peace and that He desires that abundant life for me and has blessed me in trusting Him that He knows me so much better than i do myself, to "better is one day" and seeing the fruits of that promise God had given me before i transferred- that even one day where He has put me is truly better than a thousand somewhere else. so He knows me and where He wants me is where i will best fit in and thrive, so that is where i will follow. even if it's not where i want to be at the time.

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